they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize