quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
