We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
