Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
