I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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