just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
