What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
