i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
