Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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