so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
