but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
