We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
