At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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