2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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