Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Still dying that you shit outside
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize