And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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