dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
