Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
