drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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