I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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