I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
