i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
