I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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