"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
