They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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