I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
