Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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