check it out our google latitudes are spooning
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
