I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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