Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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