Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
