i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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