belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize