How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
