i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
