I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
