Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
