Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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