I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
