I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
