I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
