you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
