saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
