Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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