Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
