Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
