I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
