He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
