His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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