i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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