he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
