you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
