do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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