He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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