dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
