that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
