For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
