So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
