awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
